Comments on: A Chat with Tori & Dean, Oxygen’s ‘Home Sweet Hollywood’ http://www.tori-spelling.org/press/interviews/a-chat-with-tori-dean-oxygen%e2%80%99s-home-sweet-hollywood/ Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:25:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Linda S. http://www.tori-spelling.org/press/interviews/a-chat-with-tori-dean-oxygen%e2%80%99s-home-sweet-hollywood/#comment-30 Linda S. Wed, 16 Jul 2008 04:09:40 +0000 http://www.tori-spelling.org/?p=112#comment-30 Tori, This is just a note to you to let you know, I enjoy watching your show and feel we have some of the same mother issues, and you are not alone. I have seven siblings, and all of us wish we had a motherly relationship with our mother, we love her because she is our mother, but it is very hard to have the type love for her that most people have with their maternal mother. When I was growing up I showed horses, I did quite well and I felt my mother hated me for it. When my father bought me a new horse, my mother would go out and by the most expensive fur coat or diamond ring she could find, and would make me feel guilty for excelling at something I loved to do. I was never good enough in her eyes.. I finally figured out this is her problem and not mine. She also had a bad relationship with her mother. It took too many years for me to figure this out. So I hope you do not waste to much more time and energy dwelling on trying to work it out! What will be will be and it is NOT your fault. In my 55 years, I wish just one time she would have called me, just to say hello, or to just see how I was doing. Those calls never came she was/is to into herself. My brother,sisters and myself always have to make the first move. We all love or father dearly (He is the rock of the Family) and always wondered how he could put up with her all these years. He always said because he loves her. When he leaves this earth it will be a sad time for all of us. There is one thing I finally figured out though, He made the monster, by giving her anything and everything she wanted! Without having to manually work for it so she could appreciate it. Everything she gets seems to be expected. You seem to be on the right track, just live your life, work at what you love doing, and enjoy your children and husband. The children grow up so fast. I do know it is so hurtful for the grandchildren not to have their grandmothers love and affection, but you have to make sure you raise them, in a way this does not to affect them to much, or make them feel it is their fault. Sometimes you will have to buy gifts for certain occasions and tell the they are from their grandmother. Or tell them she called and wished them a Happy Birthday etc. Guess I have rambled on enough. Good Luck and "God Bless" you and yours! Linda S. Tori,
This is just a note to you to let you know, I enjoy watching your show and feel we have some of the same mother issues, and you are not alone.
I have seven siblings, and all of us wish we had a motherly relationship with our mother, we love her because she is our mother, but it is very hard to have the type love for her that most people have with their maternal mother.
When I was growing up I showed horses, I did quite well and I felt my mother hated me for it. When my father bought me a new horse, my mother would go out and by the most expensive fur coat or diamond ring she could find, and would make me feel guilty for excelling at something I loved to do. I was never good enough in her eyes..
I finally figured out this is her problem and not mine. She also had a bad relationship with her mother.
It took too many years for me to figure this out. So I hope you do not waste to much more time and energy dwelling on trying to work it out! What will be will be and it is NOT your fault.
In my 55 years, I wish just one time she would have called me, just to say hello, or to just see how I was doing. Those calls never came she was/is to into herself. My brother,sisters and myself always have to make the first move.
We all love or father dearly (He is the rock of the Family) and always wondered how he could put up with her all these years. He always said because he loves her. When he leaves this earth it will be a sad time for all of us.
There is one thing I finally figured out though, He made the monster, by giving her anything and everything she wanted! Without having to manually work for it so she could appreciate it. Everything she gets seems to be expected.
You seem to be on the right track, just live your life, work at what you love doing, and enjoy your children and husband. The children grow up so fast.
I do know it is so hurtful for the grandchildren not to have their grandmothers love and affection, but you have to make sure you raise them, in a way this does not to affect them to much, or make them feel it is their fault. Sometimes you will have to buy gifts for certain occasions and tell the they are from their grandmother. Or tell them she called and wished them a Happy Birthday etc.
Guess I have rambled on enough.
Good Luck and “God Bless” you and yours!

Linda S.

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